A Daily Strategy
- Treat and speak to others
only in ways that you're willing to be treated in the same exact situation.
To apply it, imagine yourself in the exact place of the other person on the
receiving end of the action. If you act in a given way toward another, and
yet are unwilling to be treated that way in the same circumstances, then you
violate the rule. you need to know what effect your actions have on the lives
of others with their particular sensitivities, strengths and weaknesses
(which is a trick!). Engaging in behaviors and actions that you know are unhealthy,
or are resilent to, or just too weak to resist does not justify the extension
of that activity or action to others. Solving your own ignorance and keeping
an open mind in regards to appropriate behaviors is the major challenge. You
need to be able to imagine yourself, vividly and accurately, in the other
person's place on the receiving end of the action. With knowledge, imagination,
self-awareness and the golden rule, you can progress far in your moral thinking.
- The ability to forgive
and forget is the other side of this strategy. Especially, if it is merely
your ego that has been hurt. Realization that most people are controlled by
emotions and often have good and bad days can help. If the situation is extremely
dangerous or creates too much real or imagined conflict, simply avoiding the
situation is the best solution, till such time people come to their senses,
- The origin of all true evil
is the rigid adherence to beliefs and actions so that these convictions belittle the inherent worth
of others. Constant comparitative thinking leads to excessive competition and idea of "winners"
and "losers" and "status". All addictions, including unvarying conviction in face
of evidence, is a loss of freedom to choose reality. Nothing that you think or do is so important to be applicable in all situations and
circumstances. A different set of beliefs may prove more beneficial and create more harmony
with the people around you. Do not believe everything that you think. Confronting your unconscious fear
of insignificance or your eventual death can be overcome by finding joy in the moment.
- Sometimes, greater principles
are at work then individual egos, feelings, and needs. For instance, the principles
on which this country are based trumps special interests. The collective good
is one in which the needs of the many outweigh the few. Sometimes, another
person's talents can better serve the greater good. Extend your self-serving
interests into this realm. Looking beyond the immediate situation to see this
big picture requires knowledge, imagination and acceptance.
- Work to improve that
which you do best and most readily. As much as possible, rely on yourself
to accomplish the goals you have set but do not be ashamed to ask for help.
Indeed, all of us need help in areas of your lives. It is up to you to be
humble enough to recognize those areas, recognize the strengths of others
and team up with those with mutual goals and values.
- Concentrate first on
activities related to the objectives that are most important to you. Much
can be accomplished in a short time if you devote yourself to your highest
priorities. Keep track of time expended in activities so that you can better
monitor your daily routines. Don't succumb to the feeling that you have insufficient
time to do what you want. If you focus on your major objectives, you will
minmize or halt those activties that have no real importance. you will increasingly
free of the pressure to pursue less important activties.
- Prepare a general schedule
the night before, but approach each day in a relaxed way, letting things emerge
and evolve as the day goes on. Above all, seek activities you enjoy. When
you finish one activity, move on to the other.
- Focused and informed
activity reduces fear and anxiety. Study of a task and actual effort of testing
it lead to knowledge. Remembering this will take the sting out of failure,
which, in fact, should be a new source of information that can assist you
when you return to the task. Criticism, however unpleasent, can provide valuable
information about ways to improve. Make the most of the information and resources
you have, and don't dwell on potential sources of difficulty that are beyond
the limited amount of information available to you. This will only magnify
illusions of fear and anxiety. Postponent can become habitual and can lead
to nonproductivity. Don't procrastinate by fantasizing about past failures
or future problems; don't allow yourself to be distracted by opportunities
for self indulgence. When you postpone and activity, you increase the the
chances of never completing it, and you will be left with memories of past
wishes rather than of past deeds.
- How you handle an anxiety-producing
situation - on the job, in the home, or in the community - will depend on
your particular temperament, constitution, previous training, and experience.
Don't resort to mechanical formulas to solve problems. Find the method most
compatible with your own personality and lifestyle. But, try to identify conditioned
responses, attitudes and beliefs that may be restricting your choices. Some
"problems" are situations that allow yourself to be disturbed about. This
is a choice. You can learn by emulating others, but you should strive to conduct
your life and business in ways suited to yourself. New situations require
new solutions. The more you look for own solutions to new and problematic
situations, the more likely you will find the best approach for you. Don't
blame your inaction on others and take credit for sacrificing your vision
and plans on their behalf. This demeans them and creates insecurity about
your true feelings.
- Acting in terms of your
vision (Do you have one?) will give strength in dealing with most complex
situations and will minimize the psychological threats of specific situations
(you will be too busy acting in terms of your vision). Ultimately, what you
accomplish results from your willingness to be true to yourself. Stick to
what what you find most rewarding. This will make your life more rewarding
and will minimize your conflicts.
- The strongest relationships
develop from pursuit of a common objective or activity. This shared experience
increases tolerance for difference in attitudes and values and reduces efforts
to change others for the sake of having a relationship. Relationships that
focus simply on "having a relationship" can prove taxing and frustating. Similarly,
guard against a willingness to be so accommodating that you compromise your
- The key to transformation
is recognizing how trapped you are by your own mind. Notice how you keep identifying
with your thoughts. See how you are trapped by your incessant thinking? See
how you don't run your mind, but your mind runs you? Learn to let go of unecessary
thoughts by observing the mind processes and allowing yourself to really be.
The solution is to surrender to the present and do what is necessary in the
moment. Notice silence and emptiness as much as form. This will reframe the
context of the experience. Catch your thoughts and reactions so you have a
choice of acting or communicating them. The solution is in transcending, not
eliminating the ego or suppressing your responses. Daily meditation is one
way to see this universal condition. Another way is more accidental, after
hitting rock bottom.
- Surrender means to get
to a point where you can be free from self-conscious processes and mental
gymnastics that now govern your life. It is based on the assumption that you
already have all the potential that you need to make your life work. It is
OK to be who you are and to choose the potential, interest, and inclination
that you already have. You don't have to keep searching for confirmation by
focusing on being someone else or being somewhere else. Surrender yourself
to the next moment. Accept your potential and the world of reality as it is,
trusting that everything is as it was intended to be.
- In effect, despite the
way you have been brought up, life is not something to be gained. Rather,
it is a time or space in which to express what you already have and what you
already are. When you choose what you have rather than try to escape from
it, you reduce the internal split or separation that causes all the mental
anguish. Only when you accept who you are and what you are trying to hide
can you come alive in your life. Accept events as they are. Allow time for
things to develop, and stop pushing for closure or certainty. It is not that
you must be free from fear. The moment you try to free yourself from fear,
you create a resistance against fear. Resistance, in any form, does not end
fear. What is needed, rather then running away or controlling or suppressing
or any other resistance, is understanding fear; that means watch it,learn
about it, come directly into contact with it. You learn about fear, not how
to escape from it, but how to resist it through courage and so on.
- You already have all
that you need. Your task is to merely choose what you have and to express your
hidden potential by being willing to live with uncertainty and by digging
deeper into yourself to find the way. The key here is taking action rather
than remaining in your thoughts. What is it that you dreamed of doing as a
child? What is it that you would choose for yourself if you could have anything
or do anything that wanted to have or do? What would be your major choice
if you could if you could temporarily put aside self-doubts, fears, and uncertainties.
What action can you take that is consistent with your vision? What can you
do in the next moment to move the action forward? Consider these questions
and then focus on relaxing into actions that are consistent with your vision
while letting go of distracting concerns about results, wins, failures, obstacles,
and problems. The final result is not the point; it is improving ourselves
that is valuable. There is no end to this practice.